ROCKER BYE BABY BY CLAIRE MEAR
This will soon be out of print. I have a few copies left then they are gone.
Buying direct from Mearfest, you will receive a handwritten letter from me on Rocker Bye Baby headed paper, sent in a beautiful teal box that fits through all letterboxes.
I lost all my automatic online 5-star review sections after this page was updated. If you wish to leave a review please send it via the Contact Us page. I would love to hear your thoughts, good and bad. THANK YOU
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ALL WE DO AT MEARFEST
TAKE A LOOK INSIDE THE FIRST 20 PAGES OF ROCKER BYE BABY
DJ DANNY RAMPLING
READS ROCKER BYE BABY
Review to come!
Richard Webb-Stevens - An inspirational paramedic who has dedicated his career to saving lives – including during the Westminster Bridge terror attack in 2017. Richard was recently presented with the Queens Ambulance Service Medal for distinguished service, during a prestigious ceremony hosted by His Majesty King Charles III.
“This amazing book by Claire Mear, narrates a devastating event that no parents should go through & talks about something that we seldom learn about. Claire’s phenomenal testimony gives us hope through her honesty, compassion & love. It is one phenomenal book!”
Declan Lowney is a very funny Irish Film and Television Director. He has directed many of
the UK's best-loved TV comedies, from the cult hit Father Ted,
to the comedy juggernaut Little Britain. He's a six-time BAFTA Nominee and
two-time BAFTA winner for comedy direction, and two of his shows
have won International EMMYs, including Ted Lasso.
From the outset, Rocker Bye Baby is a unique and compelling book. Claire’s impassionate writing launches you into a stratosphere of emotion. Part autobiography, part esoteric, these two elements combine seamlessly to create something quite remarkable. There has been a physical need to produce a book such as this. The trauma of a full-term stillborn baby leaves you with a huge void, but also with an intense need to form some logic and reasoning behind such a heart-breaking loss. This devastation has been the catalyst, the impetus, and the spark behind this memoir. Claire’s life has been one of intense highs and lows. Her story carries us into the realms of big thinking, endless daydreaming, with some miracle-making on the side. Overall, it encourages us all ‘to never give up.’ On this journey, we confront the divine aspects of our very existence. One moment you will laugh aloud, the next openly weep. A piece of writing which can create such an emotional juxtaposition is a rare and beautiful thing. Its sub-heading lends hints to a more chronical spellbinding story, with very personal experiences to do with the ulterior subject of dying and death as a whole. Stark, absorbing, honest and immensely passionate, Rocker Bye Baby will leave you feeling exhilarated, uplifted, and wanting more. A magnificent life-affirming debut. Rocker Bye Baby is Claire’s first self-published memoir, claiming many 5-star reviews within its first six months of release. This unique story has been read and enjoyed all over the world by a wide section of society.
‘WOW! What an extremely emotional experience reading this was.
Utterly intense and compelling, breath taking!’
Antony Bray – Abaddon/Venom NWOBHM.
Rocker Bye Baby is a beautiful and moving story of
life and loss and hope. I recommend it highly'
Ray Burmiston - Celebrity photographer
ROCKER BYE BABY AS READ BY ITV'S LORRAINE KELLY
In 1982 age 15, I was abruptly taken from school and placed into the long-term care of social services, my parents had had enough of me, I never saw them again. Determined to prove them wrong, with one art O'level and an HND in fashion design, I forged ahead into my twenties where I began working for fashion/music magazines such as Blitz, ID, Smash Hits, creating looks for fashion icons and pop stars such as Kylie Minogue.
By the age of 30 and completely burnt out from London life, I backpacked alone around India and Nepal, trying to find out who the hell I was! I witnessed my first dead body, then hit a moral intersection. At age 33 I joined London Ambulance Service, as an emergency medical technician, tending to the city’s most sick, injured, and vulnerable, suddenly experiencing death and dying on an almost daily basis. I left the service after 7 years.
During my fortieth year, I sold everything I owned including my London flat and continued to backpack around the rest of the world. Working my way through a hodgepodge of mind-body-spiritual teachings and practices. This extensive inner work resulted in long periods of depression, letting go of the old me was a wrench, as I quite liked the ego I had become. From then on there was a constant internal purging stemming from my neglected childhood and interminable parental rejections. This resulted in many deeply personal but necessary ego-deaths from time to time, which helped to clear the way for moments of pure elation as I welcomed higher levels of awareness and consciousness.
In 2013 at the age of 46, still a medic but this time working on feature films, I was surprised and delighted to fall pregnant with my first child, especially as I was told by many fertility specialists that I could never become a mummy naturally. Sadly, two days before her due date at 39 weeks and 5 days, Molly died. This is where my book Rocker Bye Baby begins its journey. In 2016 alongside my heartbroken husband, we created our little music festival called www.mearfest.org in memory of Molly. This unique event conveys awareness of miscarriage and stillbirth through the genre of rock and metal music, we have to date donated around £30k to various stillbirth charities. This is where we give grieving fathers a safe place to talk about their baby losses over a pint and live music. Molly's death has shown its true purpose.
We need to understand that our soul has its own written contract, which cannot be dodged however hideous our story is. We are all born with specific threads that pick and pull their ways through this complicated tapestry we call life. Despite so much personal loss within this one lifetime of Claire, it has been a hard life lived to its fullest which I have shared in my first self-published book Rocker Bye Baby. This book is not just about baby loss, death, and doom, it is a collection of stories written with an upbeat of good humour. Since its release date of 11th November 2020, it has given many people around the world a new way of understanding a loss of any kind, including a loss of self, and it has reached #32 in the Amazon best sellers 'Course in Miracles' section.
My name is Claire Mear, I am 56 years old, my husband and our 6-year-old daughter have moved house so many times, I don't belong anywhere. Yes, that dream of being a mum finally came true after my fiftieth birthday. My mantra is to keep asking for whopping great miracles, say yes to absolutely everything, and TO NEVER GIVE UP! Maybe we will one day find our forever home.
ROCKER BYE BABY TOP REVIEWS
'An extraordinary book, searingly honest and will help many people.' Lorraine Kelly ITV.
"Powerful and so very moving, Claire’s story has given me a fresh perspective on the tragedy of stillbirth. The writing is raw and touches deeply. A beautiful and heart wrenching book, that left me uplifted. Thank you Claire and Brian for sharing your amazing story.” Declan Lowney - Double BAFTA winner & Emmy WINNER - comedy director.
‘Such a powerful book. A memoir of a life filled with trials ultimately leading to the greatest happiness.’ Emily Thiroux-Threatt – Best-selling author of Loving and Living your way through grief
‘Engagingly this book weaves together mysticism, emotional intelligence, and hardcore reality. Showing us how our deepest vulnerabilities can lead to our greatest superpowers.’ Diana Rico – Writer, editor, producer.
‘This book is a beautiful, moving story of a life full of loss, love and hope. Highly recommended.’ Ray Burmiston – Celebrity Photographer
‘Unputdownable! A poignant account of loss.’ Simon Cole – Surgeon NHS/United Nations
‘No book, film, or play has ever made me cry like this, and I mean fully let go and cry. This story is a must-read.’ Steve Grimmett – Musician
‘This book will leave you feeling its highs, lows, joy, tears, laughter, hope and wonderment. A heart wrenching, thought-provoking read.’ Nicky Whelan – Bereavement Support, SANDS
'Claire Mear signs here a true story about a human drama. The story could end there and pathos could win only. But the life force of this book is precisely to bring a message of hope around this drama and a renewed way of life around these tragic circumstances. The Mear family has embarked on a work that today surpasses it and has become almost a brand and above all a symbol of fraternity, a charitable work that exceeds all expectations and borders! A reconstruction and rebirth after death. A message of life and hope for all. To meditate.' Bill Gang - Rock Legend (France)
‘People usually do not share this kind of stories. This book is very touching, but at the same time, it is an extremely powerful story that gives hope! As I was reading the book -which is indeed very well written- I was thinking that life always shows us the path to happiness and we should not lose faith no matter how dark a period seems. I recommend this book. It is a true story that reminds us to be optimistic and see life from another perspective.’ Penny Abatzi Clinic Director, Serum IVF Athens Greece.
‘Rocker Bye Baby engagingly weaves together mysticism, emotional intelligence, and hardcore reality. Claire Mear is a sassy guide through her journey, from a rough childhood, through to fertility issues, the tragic loss of a baby, and finally, a hard-won happy ending. Mear busts through comfort zones takes life by the horns, leans into her own rawness, and shows us how our deepest vulnerabilities can lead to our greatest superpowers.’ Diana Rico - writer/editor/producer
‘WOW! What an extremely emotional experience reading this was. Utterly intense and compelling. Breathtaking!’ Antony Bray – Abaddon/Venom
‘Rocker Bye Baby. Wow! It’s an incredible story of one woman’s battle through a traumatic childhood to being a creative force in the music business, styling some of the 90’s pops stars. Travelling the world, becoming a member of the London Ambulance Service and then a medic on film sets. Claire has had a very colourful life, one filled with pain and sorrow! But with determination, true grit and the love of a good man, Brian Mear, we see her Rising from The Ashes.’ Danny Hynes - Weapon UK
Emily Thiroux Threatt - Author of ‘Loving and Living your way Through Grief.
'I have never managed to write down how I felt /feel about our baby loss. I've tried several times. Somehow I can't do it justice? I think that you are an amazing writer and know just how to bring those thoughts and feelings to the page. For me, reading your words helps me enormously to process my own grief. Please do not underestimate how important that is. Even if it's just that for a small audience. The subject of stillbirth and child loss is always going to be difficult to understand for those fortunate enough to have never experienced it 1st hand. Thank you x' Andrea Lewis-Woodhead
'There are quite a few of us out there like Clare. Some have managed to either write or talked about it. Quite a few have never yet managed to utter a word, they still can’t put into word’s how they feel, or haven’t found the strength to talk about it. What you have done is bought what was & still can be in some countries a taboo subject out into the open. Your suffering has allowed other’s to heal & that is worth it’s weight in gold. I’m sure there are many followers out there who would agree with me. I for one am thankful for Clare’s book, your scribbling’s & rambling’s, they are worth far more than you would believe.' Sally Anne Mahdeen
'Please never stop sharing your stories and thoughts. Sometimes we never know what lives are being touched by something we have said or done'. Pat Bucknor
'I’m in the process of reading this for the third time, can’t wait for the next one.' Beverley Johnson
'I genuinely believe this should be on every single woman's bookshelf. Not excluding the men this affects, the men in our family have been impacted greatly too, just for every woman who is of childbearing age, or whose daughter, and for that matter granddaughter is of childbearing age this is something that needs to be talked about and not hidden away or spoken about in whispers. We need to smash the fucking taboo about miscarriage and stillbirth and all the heart-breaking events around losing a child unexpectedly'. Caroline Larkin
'Everyone should read this book!' Roy Powell
‘Rocker Bye Baby has joined my list of the most inspirational and important books I’ve ever read! I can’t say much more than that it is exceptional! I feel this wonderful book will be significant, brave, poignant and an education for me and all readers! Many congratulations Claire and thank you.’ Rob Byrne
‘Claire’s story was so relatable and healing for me. Beautifully written, it had me in tears whilst giving me a great sense of comfort.’ Biagio Amico - Amazon
‘I am an avid reader but seldom have I come across an autobiography that is so deeply moving to the point that I struggled to put it down. Written and self-published by Claire Mear, it documents the unimaginable loss of her and her husband Brian’s first-born Molly who was born sleeping. As if this wasn’t enough the book recounts her own mental and physical abuse at the hands of her parents and the lasting self-doubt that permeated her life. Despite the subject material, it is not all dark but is interlaced with humour, love, and light. It is a MUST READ. It is thought-provoking and, in a world, where we are all too often be judgemental of people, it perhaps provides an insight into why an individual may behave in the way that they do.’ John Divall – Retired South Central Paramedic - MBE
‘It has taught me so many lessons and it is so inspirational!’ Wiggie
‘Beautiful prose is written with honesty.’ Ash Bainbridge
I loved this book. I cried, laughed and gasped as I read Claire's honest account of her experiences with life, trauma and sorrow. And the joy of learning that from darkness comes the light. Read it, you definitely will not be disappointed!’ Diane Dingley - South Central Ambulance
‘Absolutely beautiful book written by such a beautiful person. Very moving and a well-needed read for those who have also been on a similar journey.’ Catt Sweetman – a still-mummy
‘Rocker Bye Baby is different! I enjoyed reading it from the first page to the last and finished it within 3 days. I strongly believe that our ancestors’ problems affecting us and giving us challenges which we need to solve throughout our life to be free. Our health problems are related to underlying problems of the past, and these traces of negative past experiences can develop issues in the present until solved. If we manage to work through these, we find the cure without medicine. This book teaches exactly this and about how life can change within a minute, how to overcome challenges and adapt, and to keep the faith to be strong enough to start all over again. Im continuously reflecting on everything I do, but it made me reassess the importance of certain things and values in my own life, and I think I would be less without reading Rocker Bye Baby.’ Boglarka Bognar - Italy
‘I found this book hard to put down. It certainly took me through many emotions. It’s so well written, I felt like I was there, in each chapter. As this book states, there is so much more to our physical and spiritual beings. I loved that Claire was able to share this part of her journey with the world. Having had a miscarriage myself, I feel like the book helped in my healing. Very inspiring.’ Lynn Parnell Putt – USA
‘Absolutely amazing book! It’s been a very emotional and inspirational read. Following Claire’s journey through life from the tough childhood, travelling all over world to the loss of their little girl. As I am a parent too it got very close and got me thinking of what’s important in life.’ Hans Colstrom – Sweden
‘To say I was teary-eyed myself would be an understatement, such was the very real, open and honest way in which Claire described every detail about losing Molly, through to the subsequent years of their organising music festivals in her honour, to raise awareness of stillbirth, their dedication to charities relating to stillbirth. This book is, by far, one of the most powerful, inspiring books that I have ever read and so well written that it keeps the reader from wanting to put it down, even for a minute. A brilliant read, a fantastic portrayal of the emotional rollercoaster that, sadly, many people suffer in silence with, and a testament to the positive way in which they have dealt with their loss and overcome it in such an inspiring way.’ Richard Polie
‘Rocker Bye Baby, a true heartbreaking read, Claire Mear an amazing lady tells of her terrible childhood, then the harrowing tale of the greatest loss a woman can go through. BUT her loss leads to the legacy, keeping the memory of Molly alive, the grief, the heartache most people hide from, Claire and Brian have achieved something memorable through everything they’ve been through. This was not normally the sort of book I would have read, BUT I’m glad I bought it and read it.’ John Lambton - photographer
‘Insightful and important story revealing the often-forbidden tales in entering parenthood. This is a very personal and insightful book revealing a story of extreme pain and joy in parenthood by a fascinating lady with an extraordinary life. There is an intrigue throughout the book that keeps the reader committed with hope and humour between the lines that transcend the extreme difficulties and risks we dice with as children and parents. Claire Mear also explores the unexplainable connections which transcend life, birth, and our physical existence, looping her experiences from childhood, adolescence to motherhood and beyond! What is particularly poignant in this read is the way she manages to explain to the reader the processes many will go through in experiencing stillbirth, a subject often kept as a mystery which perhaps we could all be more considerate about. The overriding message however is one of keeping faith - miracles happen! It’s definitely a book title to share!’ Paula Da Luz – a Sussex Sheppard
‘A book every person on every walk of life should read. A truly inspiring read. A tough subject to approach but once you have read it you know Claire Mear will tackle any subject. This is a story of hard knocks, rejection, loss, and desperation. Something each and every one of us have had to deal with and the inspiration Claire gives from the toughest of journeys she has had with the incredible outcome for those who have lost like Claire has this is a must-read, for those of us who do not know where to turn next, for those with no direction, for those who feel the light at the end of the tunnel is too far away this is a must-read. Please buy the book, be inspired and handle your demons head-on.’ Ritchie Bernie – Jace media
‘Rocker takes you through all your emotions. Wonderfully written and full of Claire’s raw emotions.’ Anne-Marie Bennet
‘This is a poignant and heart-wrenching read. Claire gives a true insight into the tribulations in her life to date so far. I was glued to each and every page and could not put it down. I shed many a tear reading this, but all comes good in the end, suffice to say, Molly Smiles.’ Martin White –still-daddy
‘Rocker bye baby’ is was a powerful, emotional read and I am disappointed that it is finished. It is clear that Claire is a gifted author who has put her heart and soul into writing this book. At times I felt that I could totally identify with her and felt that I had been on this journey with her. I think that it demonstrated how difficult it is for the father of the stillborn child to help his wife when his own grief is so profound. I’ve shed a few tears whilst reading this beautiful book but also laughed along the way. The author has written a truly honest account of her life.’ Marjorie Kelly - NHS midwife
‘Such an amazing book. An insight into an amazing life story. An incredible demonstration of resilience. It is not normally the kind of book I read but felt it was a must after I first heard of Mearfest through friends in the North East metal scene. Thank you for sharing your story, Claire. I am not a person of faith, or necessarily share some of the beliefs written about but have read your book with an open mind and found it extremely hard to put down and one that certainly gave food for thought.’ Geoff Duke
‘This is a beautifully written biography; you won’t just read it but walk Claire’s journey alongside her. You will not want to put it down. Young Claire had a lot to say, but no one wanted to listen. As a teenager, she was placed in the care of social services, which awakened her realisation that the world was for her creative taking. Not letting her childhood define her, Claire went on to style the stars and was responsible for a few iconic outfits and looks of that time. She travelled extensively, became a Guatemalan Priestess, then helped countless people by becoming a London ambulance medic, moving into being a feature film medic. But she did not skip joyously through adult life. The hurdles got higher and potholes bigger. Enduring unimaginable pain, miscarriage, a full-term stillbirth, and depression. This did not stop Claire’s creative drive. This book is proof that anyone can achieve anything, good can come from bad, no matter what our start in life. The phoenix always rises from the fire.’ Amelia Grimmett
‘There are books that in the reading of them are like butterflies. They bring a flash of colour and beauty and then they are gone. There are other books that are like the rays of the sun. They bring light and warmth, in which one can grow. Rocker Bye Baby is one of these books. Claire takes the reader on a journey through her life; through difficult and painful times, through her experience of unimaginable loss. Rocker Bye Baby is not just a tragedy; it is a book that conveys hope and redemption. The spirituality within the book is different from my own and it may not be for everyone, but nevertheless, it is beautifully written and the silver thread that runs through this story, is so clearly one of love. Truly inspiring. This book will change you.’ The Rev Carl Flynn Edwards
‘An outstanding book currently reading my copy and have to say it’s difficult to put down the effort and the emotions that’s have been put into this truly shows.’ Daniellea Allen – Ambulance EMT
‘This book seemed to grab me and pull me in. Fabulous writing truly from the heart and soul.’ Heidi Buciarski Martinelli – RMT nurse/USA
‘A powerful story of hope and clear vision, truly a triumph! With a staunch connection to Spirit along with a brilliant sense of humour, her energy has the capacity to dislodge any bitter concretions, useless now and better for being washed away by tears of sorrow and of laughter. To whoever is reading these words, this book, ‘Rocker Bye Baby’, is a must-read. Enjoy the depth, richness, and intricacies of its layers. Celebrate this time, now, here together. One can only benefit from meeting Claire.’ Linnet Kerr - retired RMT
‘Wow, what can I say? If you want a book that you cannot put down then this is the one. I can relate so much to this book with what we went through with Artorius. But also, my childhood and upbringing and being in care, having absent parents. I could have written this book myself. A truly FANSTATIC book right from the very first page.’ Shantell Parnell
‘What an experience, and what a privilege, to read Clare Mear’s biography, Rocker Bye Baby. Told with passion, humility, and love. I wept, I laughed but mostly I devoured. Page after page builds a growing love and respect for Clare, a deeper understanding of who Molly really is and how she continues to touch so many lives, from somewhere just beyond this Earthland. It is a story that goes beyond gender roles. It touches something much deeper than this reality. As the last words float from the page into my eager consciousness. I am left feeling both honoured and humbled to have shared in this powerful story of loss and legacy.’
Jon Wilmer - Chinnor bike festival
‘I read Rocker Bye Baby and I just could not put this book down. As a bereaved mum myself I was prepared for the descriptive devastation of baby loss, the rawness of grief that ripples through all areas of life and the struggle for hope within the darkness. I was not prepared to read of Claire’s life, from a torturous childhood, through near death, loss, self-discovery, love and the incredible legacy of Molly. This book is more than baby loss and so much more than a life story. It will leave you feeling you have stepped off a roller coaster of highs, lows, joy, tears, hope and wonderment. A heart wrenching, inspiring and thought-provoking read that will leave you wanting more.’ Nicky Whelan - bereavement Support Services Of S.A.N.D.S
‘If you only ever read one book, then this amazing peek into the life and struggles of Claire during her early years and then how this continues in a new vein in her adult years, culminating in the love and unwavering faith of her husband Brian (and so many friends) ensuring she is nurtured and the final cherry on top of the beautiful Amelie is all you need. Not only does Claire breathe a new, eloquent, and sensitive way of understanding her feelings; she does this in a way that does not scream of “poor me.” Instead, she shows a different way of maybe understanding oneself and trials we all go through in life. Simply put: Thank you Claire (with an I and E) for sharing your innermost hurt, grief and thoughts but also showing there is a way forward.’ Heather Smith – SCAS paramedic
‘This book seemed to grab me and pull me in. Fabulous writing truly from the heart and soul.’ Heidi Buciarski Martinelli – RMT nurse/USA.
‘Claire Mear thank you for writing this amazing book, I feel like I’ve just travelled on your life’s journey with you. An unmissable emotional rollercoaster full of life, love, heartbreak, determination, integrity, and spirituality. Truly wonderful’ Karen Smyth Gaffney
‘I couldn’t put this book down once I’d started. Each chapter is moving, emotional, tear-jerking, humorous, inspirational, and insightful. I’d recommend it to anyone.’ Nikki Alston – Kinesiologist
‘I was so drawn into your book that I now understand much more than before. Your near-death experience in hospital helped me understand how we get advice and guidance from beyond this world. You have made me want to read a book again after a very long time. I will read more tomorrow, sitting in my studio without any music or beer like today, in total isolation from any distractions.’ John Thomas Bell - sound engineer
‘A very well written, beautiful and emotional story. As much as I found some pages heart-breaking, I also think this book may give many people hope and strength. It's one of the stories that everyone should read.’ Malgorzata Bakalarz
‘Right from the moment I picked it up and started reading I knew this was going to be an inspiring book, I'm hooked, every word I read I'm wanting to know more, I would highly recommend this book.’ Ali Hancock
‘Beautifully written, with many different layers. One of those rare books that stays with you after you finish reading it and will be returned many times to be re-read. Be prepared for tears and laughter, and you will thank God Buddha and Elvis that you have read this!’ Jackie Carson
‘Claire's book had me crying, smiling and an emotional wreck at times. It is an inspiring read, there is hope after travesty, love after loss and a great spirit to go on and inspire. Be opened minded and get this book it's a well written read the story will stay with you.’ Heather Fuller
‘When I started reading this book I believed I was on a shared journey of sadness and loss. It reminded me of the fragility of the human condition and how easily we can either surrender to the negativity within our particular circumstances or inflict pain on others. However, as the story progresses it becomes clear that it is in fact a testament to hope and triumph over adversity. I believe this book serves more than one purpose. First of all for the author, Claire, it is a spiritual purging, a turning towards the light. And then there are those who have experienced similar journeys who discover they are not alone and glimpse another way to navigate the darkest of paths. This book may be based on very challenging subjects but it is told in a unique way, with passion, dark humour and deep soul searching.’
Philip M Stuckey - author of Matters of Life & Death
‘Claire’s book is so special and rare, its pages have helped me when I was going through the same thing. I feel inspired to carry on.’ Chloe Drabble
‘It's not an easy read, but it is an essential read and one that enables the reader have more understanding what grief of an unborn child does to you, how the events change your life completely. It is a humbling experience to be given a view into your story, your and Claire's story. All our stories.’ Caroline Larkin
'An amazing book, very emotional at times, but full of love and hope. This is a great read I highly recommend.' Linda Edmonton
'An excellent read, written by an extraordinary lady. Ill be buying a 2nd copy as a gift.' Melly
'This is a poignant and heart-wrenching read. Claire gives a true insight of her tribulations in her life to date so far. I was glued to each and every page and could not put it down. I shed many tears reading this, but it all comes good in the end, suffice to say Molly Smiles.' Martin White