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MEARFEST SOUTH WILL BE JOINING FORCES WITH OUR ANGEL BEARS
Something has not been right for us at Mearfest, we have been wondering how to go forward with what we do for a little while now, continuing our venture in a very constructive, productive, and creative way. Keeping in line with why we started Mearfest in our daughter Molly’s name back in August 2016.

Our main objective is to raise awareness about stillbirth and infant loss this we do through our rock events. At our unique shows we provide a safe yet fun space to talk freely about such a painful loss. We wondered how we could find the time to attend counselling courses and set up a charity business, virtually on our own, while managing a young child and work commitments.

While attending the Butterfly awards, one great thing came out of this was we met up with Kerri Fettis from ‘Our Angel Bears’. A non-profit organisation who help bereaved families going through the heartbreak of pregnancy, infant and child loss. Suzanne Stockbridge is the founder, and has lost nine babies herself, she is also a huge rock and metal fan, this is already sounding like a great union of like minds. The third team member is Victoria Fahey. Between them, they had suffered multiple losses and had all reached the dark depths of grief themselves. Through this they had created something wonderful, in the form of a memory/keepsake box, which within it lays a certificate of life, as many people lose their babies before 24 weeks, when they are not viable and therefore would not be given any recognition of life.

Another huge part of what they have created is, that when it came to the funeral and laying the baby to rest, many parents could not find clothing small enough to fit their babies, Our Angel Bears have an army of knitters, that create tiny outfits and even miniature moses baskets that can fit into the palm of your hand.

They self-fund everything they do, paying for this out of their own salaries, they accept donations and work tirelessly by sending out hundreds of these very personalised boxes to the people who need them the most. They have created a unique and vital service, which we wholeheartedly believe in. This collaboration has made us feel that we at Mearfest are now complete and ready to move forward.

We have decided to donate Mearfest South funds to them, yesterday we sent them £150.00 taken from the Mearfest North event last Sunday to help get things moving again, as Suzanne after years of struggle now has her rainbow daughter Rosie, who is just five months old. So, they cannot afford to do as much as they wish to right now All three ladies will all be at our next event in June, and will be able to show everyone what they do, happy to talk to anyone who has lost a baby. They run a baby loss support group in Bournemouth which is an informal coffee morning once every three months also attended by a midwife from the hospital. Both Suzanne and Victoria have gone through grief and bereavement training by the foundation of infant loss provided by Dr Chantal Lockey.

​We are so pleased with this alliance, and we hope we all go from strength to strength. 

This year we announced that we need to change how we go about business, as in every sense fundraising is a business. We have had various ideas on how to move forward, by spreading the taboo word that is stillbirth around the world, by continuing to use Molly's name and her legendary handprint.

We only started all this just three years ago, it feels like ten, by achieving so much and we know that her little hand and her name has opened up people's hearts and minds that stillbirth can happen to any one of us, whatever age whatever background. The whole subject can be an awkward one, but how we have handled this has just been a natural progression, with many trials and errors, and many lessons learnt along the way, so it doesn't seem awkward anymore, in fact this subject matter can now flow a lot easier, mothers and fathers of sleeping babies are now able to talk openly at our events to each other and to others who have never even heard of such things until now, with trust and compassion, all via our social media and online websites. This for us is an achievement. We do not need awards, just to see our daughters hand move amongst the crowds is enough. Our dilemma to date is where do we go from here.

We have thought about this since the Butterfly awards, where we saw a lot of the same types of things going on, we realised while walking away with no award, that we are unique in what we do. No one does what we do using rock music events, t-shirts, art and poetry to help those who have lost to talk, and to spread the word that this shit happens to the best of us. We have big plans for next year, 20/20 vision as they say, we wish to grow bigger and be better than ever before, involving many friends who have been with us along the way to meeting new people with ideas and energy.

We wish to keep donating, we have decided to split out final amounts into thirds, one third of whatever we earn to a charity, this time it will be once again the wonderful Down Syndrome North East, as they were so kind in coming down to see us all last weekend. Even though they were not expecting a penny this time, they really got involved and for that we just adore each one of them. And Molly would have been six and enjoying her own special clubs by now. The people at DSNE help us feel closer to her in this way. And we are so close to donating to DSNE .....TEN THOUSAND POUNDS!!!!

One third will go on our costs of running all this, from all stationary, printing cost, t-shirts, to admin costs for our website, to travel costs, and just the sheer amount of time we put into this on a day to day level. Every night when Amélie is in bed I am dealing with Mearfest stuff, answering emails, some of them heartbreaking, most uplifting and proud moments, to uploading your wonderful photos god bless you all, to writing blogs, sending merch, creating artwork, it just goes on and on. Same goes to Brian, every day he is doing nearly the same, we are very visible online. And we are always here for any one who has gone through the same experiences we have.

The final third we need to bank, for future events or anything next year brings us. We have been asked to create some events for some bands, which will be a new venture this takes time and funding. But the revenue earnt will again go back into the three separate pots, so in time we can give more and achieve more.

Whatever we do, all you loyal Mearfesters know, we are not cheap, we give away so much of our time, energy and whatever items we may have. We hold onto nothing, (maybe Brian holds on to a few CDs here and there) its all material, it's not a life that is irreplaceable.

We need to look into raising our own £5k for us to register as a charity, I know this can take a lot of time to achieve, from past experiences from other charities, and there are many rules and regulations, then the red tape to wade through, by then we would have more of an understanding as to how we will proceed with who we are. It's our new challenge.

​So, last weekend we raised just over £2K. Which is amazing. We are donating £750 to DSNE inclusive of gift aid. Which they don't know about yet!!!! the rest was split as we had costs from Newcastle and annual admin costs for our website and those awards which we cant be bothered to mention.......
THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE TIME PATIENCE SUPPORT.
ALL OUR LOVE CLAIRE BRIAN AMÉLIE AND MOLLY

This week we remember all our babies, infants and children who are sadly only with us in spirit.
Somedays I just wonder where she went, were we not good enough parents for her journey here on Planet Earth?
Why did this happen to us?
Then I remind myself that this happened to us for a very big reason, I strongly believe we were chosen by our Gods many moons ago, as between us we have a voice, a platform in which we can help bring a sense of mindfulness to those expecting about the possible risks, and help to heal those who have lost through music, poetry, and art.
In this respect we are good enough parents, we have found purpose within this devastation and chaos, this was always going to be Molly's mission her journey, but guiding us all from Heaven, not here on Earth with us.
This is a tough emotional and unfair mission, however it has it rewards, to see people from all over this world wearing her hand is just so heartwarming, hearing all the good stories that come from Mearfest, it is something we will continue to do until we can all be together again.
Everyone deserves to live their life, even after death. 

We have been blessed!
Nominated for THREE awards

Inspirational Father
Inspirational Mother
Volunteer of the year

The Butterfly awards show recognition to those who have had or been involved with a baby bereavement , through stillbirth, miscarriage, or infant death.

A highly emotive award to be nominated for.

If six years ago, when Molly was born sleeping, I was told this would happen, I would have laughed through my tears.
But, it is happening, so we must be doing something right somewhere.

HOW TO VOTE.

You can vote for all three (Volunteer will be up later) 
Click on the links below scroll down to the small red heart on the profile and click. This registers your vote.
You can vote once for every category, one vote per IP address. 
​SO SHARE SHARE SHARE ACROSS THIS GLOBE.
Brian and I are in this together, there is no competition here, hence the plea is the same for all three categories.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE.

​HERE I AM AT 38 WEEKS PREGNANT WITH MOLLY.
I WAS TOLD MY AURIC FIELD WAS  BLUE/GREEN 
CALM INTUITIVE HEALING TEACHER
ENTHUSIASTIC OPTIMISTIC GROWTH BALANCE 

THEN SHE DIED! 
​MY AURA WOULD HAVE CHANGED TO BLACK GREY BROWN.

THIS WAS MOLLY AT THE SAME TIME
SHE WAS SO ALIVE
I SEE ORANGE /YELLOW
POSITIVE JOY ALIVE HARMONIOUS HEALTHY ALIVE!!

THEN SHE DIED!
​SHE WAS BLACK AND BLUE UPON DELIVERY WITH NO AURIC FIELD 
THAT DIED WITH HER. 

This was Molly's Nursery
The lettering, the beautiful triangular set of draws.
The stars the decoration
It brings back so many memories.
The hope, excitement, the expectation

Then the devastation, the loss
Returning home and having to take everything away.
The stupid woman in the local charity shop refusing to take the brand new pram/ pushchair from me, she could not explain the reasons why? 
I told her our daughter just died, she never lay inside it.

Walking back home with it, crying my eyes out.
The feeling that I had somehow let Claire down.
Feeling nothing but emptiness.

​There were two owls transfers on the wall that eventually adorned Molly's tiny coffin.
This is all what nine couples a day go through
I'm surprised how shocking and emotive looking at this photo has been.
It makes the journey we have both undertaken since that time all the more remarkable
I really don't know how we have done it