When the devourer enters your gate
And the angel of death comes through your door
Whilst you sleep it snatches your child away
What is left is just a husk
A reminder of the joy and laughter that filled your home
Now just a whisper, a vapor of mist
The sting of death
The stench of shame that consumes you
As a parent you should keep your child alive
Healthy, Safe, Protected and loved
Friends alienate you....
You're a bad parent
You killed your baby
You failed as a mother, father
The idiot pastor says, you didn't have enough faith!
Your closest allies say it wasn't this or that
But keep away from me and my children incase they die too
Who's to blame for the cold stiff body that you've been holding now for hours
Begging God to breathe life back into your child
His lips have turned purple now
The coroner is here to remove "the body"
Days go by in a blur of tears and aching
The devourer hasn't left yet
You have to identify "the body"
Everyone is too afraid to say his name (Malakai, Malakai, Malakai)
Your rent hasn't been paid
You've used it to keep your child's body out of the stifled, crowded state mortuary
Everything that could have gone wrong has turned to shit
God's not saying anything
I'm hearing his cries and smelling his clothes
He's appearing to me in broad daylight
The shame slowly starts to fade
The devourer has departed
New blossoms of hope peak through the soil
It takes trauma to separate the chaff from the wheat
The goats from the lambs
You learn to face reality of the shipwreck of your plans and dreams, tomorrow
You wake up everyday with the choking memory of that brutal day
He appeared once more but this time as a man, he looked well and wise
Under the influence of angels
Trust the process
Keep love in your heart
Reject illusion and sorcery
Reject the shame
Healing takes place in isolation
Unexpected rays of light will appear
Expected comforts will disappoint
Pursue the mystery of the one who conquered that last enemy
Therein lies the hope of your reuniting
You are awake and unveiled
Blessed are the broken, the burnt, the pure
You will smile again
You will feel a new love and joy
You haven't betrayed your child with your happiness
But you've paid the full price for it
No discount, no special deal
It's cost you dearly but now it's true
Now go, set the captives free
By Matthew Le Grange .
Written by Matthew Le Grange, husband of Angeline.
Their baby Malakai died in September 2018 the day after being vaccinated.
He was 14 weeks old.
Father's we hear you.....
Fathers do have a voice within the dark silence of death
My aching heart is with them both
I believe Molly is with Malakai
And they are playing hide and seek within the stars
There are no words for this loss of life
Thank you for letting me share your words Matthew
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