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  • MEMORIES
    • FINAL DANCE NEWCASTLE
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   ​MEARFEST BABBLE

MEETING A GODDESS OF THIS UNIVERSE

10/11/2018

1 Comment

 
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Sunday Brian and I went to The Shard in London to meet with our very incredible IVF giver of life Penny, who with her incredible team all helped to create Amélie in Athens Greece just over 2 years ago....

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SERUM IVF CLINIC are now hosting outreach clinics here in the UK, London and Dublin.
So more parents to be, from every walk of life, can have their first consultation
So many babies and new families have been created from that first consultation
I thank the universe for helping me find them in 2016
From our first consultation in Athens to transfer took 8 weeks, 37 weeks later Amélie was here
I now realise how very fortunate we were that our first attempt worked at age 49 years.

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This had a lot to do with: 
  • REDUCING WORKLOAD
  • RELAXING ABOUT THE WHOLE ISSUE OF BEING A USELESS MIDDLE AGED (!) WOMAN WHO CAN NOT DO WHAT A WOMAN IS MEANT TO DO, CHILD BARE
  • LOSING THE WEIGHT I HAD AMASSED THROUGH NOT BEING ABLE TO GRIEVE, I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO AS I HAD NEVER LOST SOMEONE SO PRECIOUS IN SUCH HORRIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES
  • LEARNING, THEN ALLOWING MYSELF TO GRIEVE
  • LETTING GO OF MY OWN TROUBLED CHILDHOOD AND FEARS OF BEING MY MOTHER
  • I WILL ONE DAY BE A MOTHER, A GOOD LOVING KIND MOTHER
  • TRUSTING ALTERNATIVE/MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS AGAIN
  • TALKING OPENLY AND SHARING WITH OTHERS
  • CHANGING MY RIDGED PERCEPTIONS AND VIEWPOINT OF THIS TERRIBLE EVENT
  • LETTING GO OF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO MOLLY 
  • UNDERSTANDING IT WAS NOT MY FAULT SHE DIED
  • ACCEPTING I AM A MOTHER TO MOLLY, SHE IS ALWAYS WITH ME, I FEEL HER EVERYWHERE AS SHE NOW GUIDES ME FROM BEYOND
  • BELIEVING THINGS DO HAPPEN FOR A GREATER MIND BENDING BONKERS REASON
  • THE UNIVERSE CHOSE US AND GAVE US BOTH A CHOICE, EITHER DIVORCE, OR MOVE FORWARD BY GIVING US AN IMPOSSIBLE MISSION, THROUGH SOUL DESTROYING HEARTACHE TURNING LOSS INTO LEGACY
  • SETTING UP A CHARITY EVENT THAT HELPED US WITH OUR GRIEF, WHICH HAS NOW HELPED OTHERS THROUGH A COLLECTIVE UNDERSTANDING OF MUSIC, PHOTOGRAPHY, WORDS. 
  • FINALLY, RELEASE ALL LOSS FROM THE PAST
  • WELCOMING A NEW AND HAPPY FUTURE
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Grief can have a way of  hiding deep within our bodies. On the outside we carry on as best we can, we are in disguise, people think we are coping OK and fine, but inside we have created a hurricane of blackness and depression, pockets of mental illness, self doubt, unimaginable heartache, where your whole body aches for that child, hatred of your body which has failed you. 

Dads feel all this too, just as much, suffering in total silence, even though they did not carry the baby, they feel this soul crushing pain deep within their own masculinity. It really does take two people to make one life, everything is questioned, the answers can come in many subtle strange forms.   

These feelings are all very real after a miscarriage or stillbirth.
I now know all this halts a new baby energy from coming through physically and spiritually, as our mounting pain blocks their path in every direction from the birthing experience we call life.

free yourself
NEVER GIVE UP
  

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I found these words on SERUM IVF CLINIC Facebook page...

​“Birth is not only about making babies.
Birth is about making mothers strong, competent, capable mothers
Who trust themselves and know their inner strength” 
Barbara Katz-Rothman PhD


SERUM CLINIC finally made me a mother at 50 years of age. 
A strong, competent, capable mother.
There are no words to describe my eternal gratitude.
1 Comment
Naomi Keep
10/11/2018 19:28:24

Dear Claire, what amazing words and what a beautiful story, I am filled with emotion at reading your heartbreaking story and your journey to peace and the amazing support that is available at Serum. Penny is a true angel and she ha s helped you find a sister for Molly. I am so glad you have been able to bring Molly back to you into your heart which is such a difficult thing to do when grief is so strong. You are an amazing family and I'm so glad to shave met you in London x

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